X - Mas time!

UPDATE: I had to remove the Religulous clip due to copyright issues. Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted.

It is understood by millions that the importance of this time of year is Jesus Christ's (what a last name) birthday. It has been proclaimed for a while now that December 25th will be the day we celebrate the birth... of the one and only... SON OF GOD HIMSELF... EVERYONE PUT THEIR HANDS TOGETHER FOR MR. CHRIST IN THE FLESH.....JESUS!!!!
*theme music blares through speakers*

Let's get serious people. This month holds a shit load of importance for people of ALL different faiths. Coincidence? No. It's because every new fairytale derives from another fairytale; thusly, leaving every new fairytale with the same bullshit fantasy story. There is no denying that fact. It is what it is...fact.

So, I cordially celebrate Christmas because I do not want to let my family down. They want the entire family to be present for the festivities so I play along. I'm not hurting anyone. I'm just there to be with family at the one time of year that we are all together........okay, that's a lie. This group of people get together for birthdays, easter, fucking BAPTISMS!!! The fact remains that I love them no matter what religious traditions they insist on following. The same goes for my friends. I went to go eat at a friend's house a couple nights ago and ended up holding hands with my dinner partners and looked around astonished as they started to pray! Did I object? Fuck no. I have respect. That's what I go through for my friends. I will participate in their family rituals if it means I get to hang out with them. Anywho, I'm getting off on a somewhat tangent here. But that's ok, because that is sometimes when the most intelligent babble gets spit out.

Nonetheless, Christmas is a holiday for chumps. So is Hannukah, Chanukah, Hannakuh, er, WHATEVERTHEFUCK-KAH. Either way, it's all a make believe celebration for a make believe god on a make believe date. FUCK, historians say that if jesus is real, he wasn't even born until June on the calendar, and probably 2 years after the bible tries to say he was. But whatever. This time of year, I just sit back and enjoy the togetherness of the family.

With all ranting aside, this ultimately brings into light the fact that I finally found a Religulous torrent. I drove to Dallas to watch this movie. That was 10 hours total of travel time, just to watch one movie. Of course, as I have proclaimed in a previous post, it was well worth it. Well, I WILL buy the DVD when it is released, but for now I have to rely on the torrent I found to download and occupy my obsession until then. With it, though, I have great news. I have the profound, intelligent, mind opening, unbelievable, beautiful ending of the movie. I want everyone to watch it. The entire film is not destroyed just by watching the ending of the movie. In fact that's one of the many things i Love about this film. You can see the ending, and still thoroughly enjoy the rest of the flick. So here it is folks. I especially insist on posting this because I know the only people who probably view this blog will never actually buy/rent this movie:





It doesn't take a lot to scare someone, believe it or not. That's the reason so many people in our world believe in some kind of religion. Therefore, for those of you that are so weak-minded, I hope that this clip will scare you into the TRUTH, for there is nothing more important.

Best Christmas Movies

Pretty good top 25 list of the best christmas movies ever. Worth a glance.

CLICKY CLICKY

Obligatory Dick in a Box video

The holiday season is among us. To me it means doing shit with family and funny videos like this one.

Roger Ebert is awesome.

I have always had a great respect for Roger Ebert's ability to analyze movies. After reading his latest review, I have even more respect for Roger Ebert as a man. Apparently, ol' Ebert was given hell for not reviewing Ben Stein's film "Expelled." The film is Ben Stein's attempt to debunk science in favor of religion and intelligent design. He and his production company pointed their fingers at Ebert saying he refused to review the film because of his biased belief in the theory of evolution. Soooo, Roger Ebert told them to go fuck themselves by taking the time to write an extra lengthy review of "Expelled."

Quotes:
" It is well photographed and edited, sometimes amusing, has well-chosen talking heads, gives an airing to evolutionists however truncated and interrupted with belittling images, and incorporates entertainingly unfair historical footage, as when it compares academia's rejection of Creationism to the erection of the Berlin Wall."

"The more you know about evolution, or simple logic, the more you are likely to be appalled by the film. No one with an ability for critical thinking could watch more than three minutes without becoming aware of its tactics. It isn't even subtle. Take its treatment of Dawkins, who throughout his interviews with Stein is honest, plain-spoken, and courteous. As Stein goes to interview him for the last time, we see a makeup artist carefully patting on rouge and dusting Dawkins' face. After he is prepared and composed, after the shine has been taken off his nose, here comes plain, down-to-earth, workaday Ben Stein. So we get the vain Dawkins with his effete makeup, talking to the ordinary Joe."

"This film is cheerfully ignorant, manipulative, slanted, cherry-picks quotations, draws unwarranted conclusions, makes outrageous juxtapositions (Soviet marching troops representing opponents of ID), pussy-foots around religion (not a single identified believer among the ID people), segues between quotes that are not about the same thing, tells bald-faced lies, and makes a completely baseless association between freedom of speech and freedom to teach religion in a university class that is not about religion."

Please take the time to read the entire review as it is awe inspiring.

READ FULL ARTICLE

HOLY SHIT THAT'S AN AWESOME METEOR

"A spectacular and almost blindingly bright meteor sparked a flurry of emergency calls to the police after it lit up the skies over western Canada.

Onlookers across the province of Alberta watched in awe, describing a kaleidoscope of colours as the rock rapidly descended.

'At first I thought it was fireworks,' farmer Marcel Gobeil said.

'I've never seen anything like it; it was green and blue and then turned to bright red. It was pretty big.'" (source)

Check out the video below taken from a police cruiser's dashcam. Can you imagine suddenly seeing that in the sky in front of you?

Awesome Jesus Pictures

Doll says, "Islam is the light"...... purportedly

You want something scarier than a Halloween spook house? How about a doll that was discovered to say shit like, "Islam is the light" or "Satan is the King"? Would that spook you? Some people actually have a fear of dolls to begin with, so a doll spitting out suggestive material like this must be very unsettling...



My personal opinion? Some fear mongering lunatic heard this babbling and made it out to seem like something horrible. It happens all the fucking time! Led Zeppelin, the Beatles, the list goes on about hidden messages, subliminal messages, etc. All in all, it is in the EAR OF THE BEHOLDER! When a human is TOLD that something says something, they will inevitably HEAR it. You have it in your head that the doll at this specific moment will say "Islam is the light." So when you hear it, you can shape out the babble to say just that.

So what does it say about our society when something like this pops up? We are a bunch of pathetic, desperate beings trying to create fear among the masses over something innocent. It's the basis (along with religion) for many a war. It is the basis for keeping humankind in check. And even still, if it did say "Islam is the light", and then uttered, "Satan is the King", that doesn't even make sense. Muslims would not want both phrases to be uttered in succession if they're trying to secretly spread the word of Allah. This whole thing stinks of radical Bible-obsessed Americans that can find evil (or opposition) in every medium possible. Shame on you all.

Coincidentally, not too long ago, Sony had to recall their highly anticipated video game "Little Big Planet" due to text out of the Qur'an being included in one of the game's songs. That's right. A massive recall was issued because one line out of the entire soundtrack was Islam in nature. In my opinion, the song was probably just quoting mythology as so many things do. Is Islam mythology? Yes. Just as much as the bible is. I know Sony pulled it because such content will make profits stutter for the game, but it's ridiculous they have to do so. Why isn't "God of War" recalled? Their entire game is based off an ancient Greek religion. I guess we'll have to wait another few hundred years before we declare all current religions false too. It will happen. But something else as absurd as christianity will take it's place. It's the circle of life. /sigh

UPDATE: The very first babble the doll makes in the video is very incoherent, correct? No! I sat and listened and discovered that it in fact says: "I can't, I can't rub mama." How dare these toy companies release pedophile promoting toys to our kids??!!?!?

UPDATE: OMG!! Oh shit, wait!!!!! I think the very first comment made by the doll might say "I can't, I can't vote Obama?" Wow, can you imagine? A doll promoting Obama's election and it happens to include a Muslim diatribe. Do you not fucking see how easy this is? It's an atrocity! Go fuck yourself people. Clear some tension! shit! (11/1/08 7:38PM)


UPDATE: Objectively, here is a video of the Led Zeppelin hit "Stairway to Heaven" in reverse to expose the 'secret, devilish messages' the band wanted to make known to mass populace. There are an infinite amount of differences between the translations of this song backwards, so you can kinda get my idea earlier. It's all in the "EAR OF THE BEHOLDER"

(11/1/08 8:35PM)

/point done being made

Scariest Videos on the Internet (that i could find at least)

First things first, it is obligatory for me to showcase some scary videos from the 'net. This year, I'm just going to seek and find videos that I too have not seen until today and share them with you. Some may be real, but some are most likely fake. I'll let you decide. It's still freaky nonetheless. Watch in the dark for full effect. =)





Large Apparition In The Woods - video powered by Metacafe

Ghost caught on tape
by czoom

Happy Halloween Weekend!

Well, another year has passed and I didn't do anything for Halloween. This is probably the coolest of holidays in my opinion, and to celebrate I sat and watched ghost hunting shows on television. I guess much more couldn't be expected since I live in a small, rural town in TX, but I was tempted to drive all the way down to Austin to visit some spook houses. I didn't, and I probably won't.

So in an attempt to make myself feel better, I am declaring the entire weekend as Halloween Weekend. Luckily, Halloween landed on a Friday, so I feel it is legit to make such a declaration. Now the question remains, what will I do to make up for having such a boring, mundane October 31st? Hopefully, I'll be back to update with that answer. For now, Happy Halloween Weekend!

Pledge of Allegiance

...


****Article deleted to a possible attempt to remove me from my current job status. It is in fact a sad society when I have to hide my freedom of speech in order to save my job. Fuck you.****

Obama vs. McCain......DANCE OFF!

I think all we need is a good dance off.

UPDATE: /GASP! The video is no more! It was fun while it lasted. (10/28/08)

UPDATE: Found it on youtube. (10/30/08)

boob

EXPLOSION 1. WE ALL FUCKING DIE.












0.... FUCK YOU, FUCK YOUR MOTHER, FUCK YOUR GRANDMOTHER, FUCK YOUR CHILDREN. WE

















ALL












FUCKING DIE






















































but we can't acce]t science. OH SHIT





















THERE ARE BOMBS, BUT LARGER








































BAM BAM BAM
BOOM






















































BOOOM1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111!!!!!!


















WE DIE,






















NOTHING THAT CAN SAYVE US, BURT LIE FE TITSE4LF. LOVE IS AN ABANDONMENT, WE HATE LIFE............................




























































SHE HATES YOU, ............YOU HATE






























































































HER...............................................................REACH PERSPECTIVE FOLKS.















































































REACH FUCKING PERSPECTIVE

Sometimes I hate People

Wow. Sometimes I sit at the computer with this state of mind. I will not cut off or regulate the shit that i type.

I hate you all. By all, i mean people. I wish human kind contained more intelligent people. FUCK! Do you not ever feel you are walking about through regular day and realize that every single person OTHER THAN YOU are idiots? So.........................you really feel that? Well FUCK?!!? you are me man. You are the fucked up populace that people on their "OUTER CONSCIENCE" doesn't want to admit................ there are two sides folks. There are the rationalists, and the anti-rationalists. I promise you that you are not an agnostic. Many people will ask this. Don't worry about it. Don't even pretend the term exists. It is about rule, right? FUCK RULE! a god does not rule. we do not rule. we all rule our own body.....which means............many retards who share the same idea about rule will now destroy the earth............OH SHIT AM I TALKING ABOUT RELIGION???????????? FUCK FUCKING YES I AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHETHER YOU ARE ISLAM, CHRISTIAN, MORMON, ETC, YOU...........................





ARE..........................




A.......................





TERRORIST..................................................




i honestly hope you realize the importance in what i say. please. be yourself. do not reference any religion. here we go....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Top 5 Movies Every Parent Should Show Their Teenagers

Top 5 Movies Every Parent Should Show Their Teenagers
By Aaron Schooler

Cinema, when done creatively, masterfully, and properly, can have a larger impact on one’s life than many other forms of inspiration. I have time and time again watched movies that consummately portray an important life lesson. From Disney flicks to documentaries, they are innumerable. There comes a time though where the sugar coated lessons taught from G-rated fairy tales just aren’t enough to reach the mindset of a maturing mind. So, without further ado, here are my top 5 picks for movies every parent should show their puberty-ridden teenage children in order to help keep them steered in the right direction of life. This isn’t going to be pretty.

1. Requiem for a Dream (2000)



This film should be shown to every young teenager just entering high school. Set aside the fact that it is riddled with strong language and disturbing images. One day you will have to admit to yourself that your kids watch films with cursing and violence, and that they use the same language themselves. Didn’t you?

Requiem for a Dream truly represents one of the major vices this country holds strong: addiction. Whether it is an American’s refusal to stop drinking caffeine saturated drinks or the idea that the use of hard drugs makes you cool, every one of us succumbs to an addiction throughout our lives. This movie shows the viewer in as ugly a way possible what detriment radiates from addiction. It touches on people’s obsession with their weight. It teaches that hard drugs are in fact addictive and can truly hurt you. It even touches on Americans’ obsession with Hollywood and the American Dream of becoming famous or ‘getting on television’. It will never happen, but from childhood we are taught that it probably maybe hopefully will happen to every one of us. These delusions are torn to shreds by the grotesque imagery used in this film. I would also like to see a teenager inject heroin into their vein after watching this movie. It’s not gonna happen.

2. Religulous (2008)



Speaking of fairy tales, we should all be aware it is not healthy to believe in them verbatim especially after one matures past childhood. This is the perfect film to make sure your kids do not surrender to their peers’ insistence that the Bible is, well, good. Bringing up a child can be a daunting task, and sometimes other people try to raise them for you, i.e. a church. This movie can help prevent or correct that.

For those of you who believe in a god, the film can still help allow children to form their own opinions. There is nothing wrong with doubt.

I do not believe in lying to a child about Santa Claus, but at least one day you tell them you lied to them. I cannot imagine trying to explain why you would give the credit of so much gift giving to a fictional fat-ass, but for the most part, it’s not as harmful as say telling your children that snakes can talk or that a carpenter was crucified, came back as a zombie, and somehow by doing so saves you from your sins. It’s as much of a fairy tale as Shrek, and it’s just wrong for people to keep lying to their children all the way through the teenage years.

Religulous informs us about how harmful to the past, present, and future of mankind religion is. It focuses on the fact that these religious stories are actually very crazy, but the majority of people are just used to hearing it. It’s embedded into their brains, so it must be true. Don’t let it happen to the teenagers. They are our future! Arguably, this movie could be the single most important film every human should see.

3. American History X (1998)



Every time I attempted to talk about this movie among acquaintances, I get the same reaction, “YOU’RE RACIST!” I do not understand why so many people declare this to be such a racist film. It is true that the movie shows the ugliest sides of prejudice, but it shows it for a reason. Anybody who isn’t a nut recognizes that this masterpiece preaches against racism using the harshest methods possible: by showing the viewer how heinous and extreme it can get. The moral remains that racism is bad. Innocent people get emotionally and physically abused. If the poignant moment where Danny is broken free of his white supremacist bonds by his older brother Derek doesn’t reach someone’s kids, then something’s wrong with those kids. Plus, the audience gets to witness a painful twist of fate at the end that will leave them with an open mind to form their own opinions.

4. Kids (1995)



I think it was inevitable that this movie would make this list. As poorly acted, written, and directed as this movie was, Kids remains a masterpiece because of its determination to freak you out. Dark, sadistic, comedic, and disturbing describe every frame of this movie. It is painful to watch, and even more painful to look away. In other words, it’s gold. When you really analyze this film, it may convince you to never fuck again! I would not recommend it, but at least it will help the teenagers refrain from promiscuous, dangerous sex. If I were the principal of a junior high school, I would make this film mandatory viewing. I would interrupt class to gather everyone into the auditorium and project Kids onto the largest screen imaginable. That also may be the reason I am NOT in fact a junior high school principal. Either way, if a school district wants to preach about how important safe sex is, all they have to do is have the students watch and analyze this flick. The girls will clamp their legs shut and make sure they NEVER pass out drunk at a party; the boys will be painting their dicks with rubber faster than a Jew collects interest! I mean…….what?

5. The Breakfast Club (1985)



Teenagers today were not even a twinkle in their dad’s eye when this movie was huge; however, it’s amazing how many of the same lessons still apply to every generation that’s followed its release. Do cliques still exist in school? Very much so. Do kids still get abused? Absolutely. Is every day in school a popularity contest? Damn straight. The Breakfast Club promotes unity in a way that every single one of us can relate to. The jock may learn not to be such an arrogant asshole. The geek will learn to accept who they are. The pretty girls might learn not to be so judgmental about a person’s outer appearance. The ruffian can find the soft spot in his heart. Just think of all the intelligible lessons this film exhorts towards the viewer that just might help direct him or her into a better, brighter direction for their life. Besides that, it is just an extremely entertaining movie.

So, what did you think? Did I make any sense? Well then, that’s what COMMENTS are for. I’d love to hear your suggestions. It only makes it more interesting. Have a nice day.

Wrong Glasses

Religulous - most expensive ticket ever

Okay, I'm exaggerating. The ticket itself was not expensive, but the sequence of events required to see this movie is what added up to becoming the most I've ever paid to see one movie. And yes...it was worth it.

Monday, the girlfriend and I decided we were going to drive to Dallas and see this movie. So we fucking did it! We also wanted to just hang out in the city so we woke up before 7 am and left by 7:30. Upon finding the theater we were going to watch the movie in, I discovered that not only am I going to watch an amazing movie, but I am going to watch an amazing movie with cold beer in my hands. That's right. The theater was a combination bar/theater. So at around 4:30pm, we settled into our seats with cold Rolling Rocks in my hand. Gas+ticket+cold beer+food= most expensive ticket ever.

Then it started.

Religulous conveys what is the singular most important message in the history of mankind: We will not and cannot survive as a country, as a human race, as a PLANET with religion around. It shouts to us nonbelievers to do SOMETHING to fight against this attack on our planet by religions. Not just christianity, but islam, judaism, and mormonism...no religion is innocent. He points out and makes clearly apparent what most of us rationalists (atheists, agnostics, etc.) already knew: the fact that millions upon millions of people can believe in something as insanely absurd as the Bible, the Koran, or the Book of Mormon is unbelievable, depressing, and flat out dangerous. Religion has caused more deaths than anything else during man's time on earth. Bill Maher makes all of these points throughout this masterpiece.

I laughed so hard during this movie. I cannot remember a movie that was so comedic and poignant at the same time. Bill Maher and Larry Charles show how ridiculous all of these religions are, but while doing so do not point fingers or talk down to their 'victims'. I use that term very loosely. These people being interviewed provide answers that just make us laugh because Bill Maher shapes each following question perfectly. He leaves some of the christians, muslims, etc. in utter shock, confusion, and doubt. He knows that there is no way these people are going to change their beliefs. It's too embedded into their heads; they're too far brainwashed; they're too afraid of death. He knows this. Maher directs this film to those of us who are enlightened to religion's ridiculousness already. He has inspired me moreso than I already was. If you want to be inspired, go see this film. If you want to laugh, go see this film. If you want to see the truth, go see this film.

After all of the humor, Maher and Charles decide to brilliantly drive us straight into a brick wall. By this I mean the comedy reaches a dead end, and Maher gets dead serious. The final monologue by Bill Maher and the pictures that accompany it are the most powerful 10-15 minutes I have EVER witnessed in a film. I almost wanted to cry. It kind of takes your breath away when he illustrates so vividly what our lives, what the planet's life, is headed for because of religion. It's so sad, depressing, and makes those of us who already know feel overwhelmingly helpless. This goes on my list of movies that EVERY parent should show their young teen/preteen child.

All in all, completely phenomenal folks. Everyone deserves to see this movie. Thanks for your time.

Religulous Is Here

UPDATE - In a not so surprising move, Religulous will not be released in my area of the country. I would have to travel to a major city to watch this, but in Texas, that might not even be possible. The religions of our country have sunk their teeth far too deeply into the Texan mindset so it's very believable that theaters would purposely avoid purchasing this film for their lineup. It's ok though. I will find the movie online and send an envelope straight to fucking Bill Maher and Larry Charles themselves containing ten bucks for my movie ticket.





Also, I found this clip from the movie. Obviously, he is talking to a member of the cannabis church. Hilarious.
======================
With the release of Religulous today, here's an interview with Bill Maher. Despite the guy conducting the interview leaning towards being another religious lunatic, I'd say Maher handled himself very intelligently. (scroll to end for source link)
-----------------------------
Bill, you're a busy guy right now. You've got a movie and an HBO talk show to promote, and an election and a financial crisis to make fun of. But I wonder whether the current economic situation really lends itself to comedy.

Well, it is funny, if you can laugh through your tears. You've got to make fun of everything, and this is certainly something people are aware of and talking about. I try to talk about it in a kitchen-table way, but one of the difficult things about it is that nobody really understands it.

You know, we've been asked to trust Secretary Paulson. Now I don't know this man, and maybe he's brilliant. What I know about him is that he's a Bush appointee, like Rumsfeld, Gonzales, Miers and Cheney. What I know about him is that he worked for Goldman Sachs, who are part of the problem. And I know that he was on his knees in the Oval Office recently. Maybe he was looking for change under the couch, but I don't think so.

Like everybody else, I guess, I don't quite know what to think. On one level, I understand that Congress was being irresponsible in shooting down the bailout the other day. On the other hand, doesn't everybody want to see those rich bastards get what's coming to them?

I guess the problem is, it's cutting off your nose to spite your face. You get the rich bastards, but our 401K plans are on Wall Street, that's our retirement money. It's all mixed together, and that's the problem.

The root problem, I think, is that Americans stopped making stuff. We used to make cars, houses, furniture. We were a manufacturing country. Now we just push numbers around on a computer screen. It's all about debt and margins and short-selling. Eventually that house of cards is going to come down. You find third-world countries and other nations doing better than us. The Chinese actually make things. OK, they make DVD players full of poisonous materials, lead and mercury, but at least they're making something. We've become a small-print economy. Not even a service economy, a small-print economy.

And, you know, we're such a religious country, at least supposedly. But charging interest is specifically forbidden by the Old Testament.

Right. Don't banks in Islamic countries actually obey that prohibition? Or at least find imaginative ways around it?

That's true. As usual with the Muslims compared to us, we pretend to be religious and don't really follow it. They actually walk the walk and talk the talk. Which of course is not a good thing when it leads to beheading homosexuals. We don't do that, we just dis them with Pat Robertson. But yes -- Muslim banks do not charge interest. They find other ways of making money; it's more about sharing with the customer.

I guess that brings us to the topic of "Religulous," which I read as this effort to get agnostics and atheists out of the closet in American society.

That's certainly one of the goals. I don't use the word "atheist" about myself, because I think it mirrors the certitude I'm so opposed to in religion. What I say in the film is that I don't know. I don't know what happens when you die, and all the religious people who claim they do know are being ridiculous. I know that they don't know any more than I do. They do not have special powers that I don't possess. When they speak about the afterlife with such certainty and so many specifics, it just makes me laugh.

People can tell you, "Oh yes, when you get to Paradise there are 72 virgins, not 70, not 75." Or they say, "Jesus will be there sitting at the right hand of the Father, wearing a white robe with red piping. There will be three angels playing trumpets." Well, how do you know this? It's just so preposterous. So, yes, I would like to say to the atheists and agnostics, the people who I call rationalists, let's stop ceding the moral high ground to the people who believe in the talking snake. Let's have our voices heard and be in the debate. Let's stand up and say we're not ready to let the country be given over to the Sarah Palins of the world.

It seems like your major target in this movie are the religious extremists, those who belong to the fundamentalist camps of various different religions.

That's not really true, that's not really true. I mean, take Sen. Pryor -- I don't think he'd consider himself a fundamentalist. I think he's like a majority of Americans. I mean, 60 percent of Americans believe the Noah's ark story to be literally true. To me, that's mainstream. When people say, "You're going after extremists," I say, well, to be religious at all is to be an extremist. It's to be extremely irrational. Not that everybody believes in Noah's ark, or the guy who lived to be 900 years old. But even to believe the central story of Christianity -- a lot of people would say, "I'm not like those kooks out in Kansas who believe the Earth is 5,000 years old. But I do believe God has a son, who he sent down to earth on a suicide mission, and he said, 'Hey, Jesus, I'm sending you on this suicide mission, but don't worry, they can't kill you because you're really me.' I, God the father -- wink, wink -- let's split up the work! OK? Because there's two of us, but not really! I'll go down to Earth first and I'll see if I can't impregnate a Palestinian woman so she can give birth to you." It's just as silly a story. We're just used to it.

Right, well, it's pretty funny when you argue that that story is every bit as ridiculous as the space-alien gods and billion-year-old beings and volcanoes of Scientology. But you could find liberal theologians, sophisticated intellectuals, who are not fundamentalists and who could argue their way out of any corner you try to paint them into.

I disagree again. This is the idea that people have in their heads, that somehow you can have a person who sounds very rational and can hold his own in a conversation about whether religion is silly or not. And I just disagree with that premise. If you're defending the story I just described, you are going to come out sounding ridiculous no matter who you are and no matter how intelligent you are. We interviewed Francis Collins in the film. He's the man who mapped the human genome, he's a brilliant scientist. But he says some pretty cuckoo things, some things that are just factually wrong and make him look foolish.

I said, "We don't even know for sure whether Jesus lived," and he said, "We have eyewitness accounts." I said, "No, every scholar agrees that the gospels were written from 40 to 70 years after Jesus died." And he said, "Well, that's close." That's close to an eyewitness account? Forty years after somebody dies, 2,000 years ago? This idea that there's somebody out there who can make a case for this and make it sound reasonable, that just doesn't exist.

Well, you've got these two Vatican priests in the film, and one of them, Reginald Foster, is this very funny guy who is totally not defending the most ridiculous aspects of Christianity.

He's actually debunking them! Here's a guy who lives down the hall from the pope. We saw where the pope lives. And he's just saying, "Ah, they're all just stories." It gave us a real insight that perhaps some of these people who are in the hierarchies of the religions -- they don't really believe it. But they understand that you can't tear it all down for the common man, that people need their stories. It's just amazing that he would say it to me publicly, and on camera.

Well, that raises a philosophical question, which maybe a 100-minute comedy film can't deal with. Do these stories serve a purpose in human life that isn't entirely negative, even if it's foolish to take them at face value? It seems to me you're arguing that they don't.

That's a good question, and of course no one can argue that religion hasn't done some good. Even in the world today, the Catholic Church certainly organizes a lot of antipoverty programs. It feeds the poor, runs soup kitchens, and so forth. I would argue that all that can be accomplished without the bells and whistles of religion. People behave ethically all the time without relying on myths. And I would argue that when you bring religion into it, yes, the comfort that religion brings comes at a terrible price. Probably the majority of wars in our history have been fought over religion.

Of course we're now involved in Iraq, and the main reason that conflict has been so difficult to solve is that there are two sects of Islam who have a disagreement about who succeeded the prophet Mohammed in the seventh century. This is the reason they're ethnically cleansing each other! Not to mention the Crusades and, you know, keeping women in their place and the repression of minorities and exorcism and burning witches and honor killings and suicide bombings and having sex with children. I mean, I could go on. Does religion have a place? Yeah, you kind of have to balance that against all the bad it does.

You deal with Christianity and Judaism, and toward the end of the film you wrestle with Islam a little bit. But there's no mention of Hinduism or Buddhism -- a religion that allows for considerable doubt and isn't so sure about the existence of God, for example.

We made the decision early on that in a 90-minute movie we weren't going to be able to delve into the Eastern religions. First of all, Americans -- and I'm one of them -- don't know that much about them. We don't have that intimate lifelong relationship with them, the way we do with Judaism and Christianity and, in recent years, with Islam. We go into Mormonism and Scientology, but people know a little about them because this is America. If we were going to go into Shintoism and Buddhism and Hinduism, that's another movie, and one I'm not going to make.

You've been pretty consistent on TV and in your stand-up routines in criticizing Islam, in arguing that the religion and its followers really have a problem they don't seem to be dealing with. You go after Islam again in this film, and you aren't especially delicate about it.

No, you can't be. You can't pull your punches, and you wouldn't be respected if you did. We show a little of the Theo van Gogh film ["Submission," which apparently led to the Dutch filmmaker's murder by an Islamic radical], which is pretty rough stuff. You see that woman with her face all beat up, saying, "This is what my husband does to me in the name of his religion." And we talk to a number of Muslim people and you hear me saying that I think when they talk amongst each other they're more honest about the predicament of their religion, but they won't say it to a stranger. I'm sure some of this is going to ruffle feathers, but you know what? The Christians don't love what we say about them either.

You've been called anti-Muslim from time to time. How careful are you, do you think, about raising criticisms that don't cross the line into prejudice and stereotype?

I don't think I'm involved with prejudice. Prejudice comes from the words "pre" and "judge," and I don't think I'm prejudging. I'm judging. I reserve the right to make judgments. We all have to make judgments.

SOURCE

I'm So Pumped...

...This Friday, the new Larry Charles directed flick comes out, Religulous. I don't remember the last time I've been so excited about a movie. If you're as excited as I am, you'll really enjoy reading this review: CinemaBlend.com Review

Dane Cook Sucks, but his favorite movies don't.

I hate Dane Cook. He's an untalented schmuck who became famous by parading along the coat-tails of comedians like Jim Carrey. Obviously Dane was not good like Jim, but just enough people enjoyed his idiocy that he was given the right to make terrible movies.

I say all this with the deepest sincerity, but I must admit, he has a good taste in movies. This article showcases his top 5 favorite/influential movies. He makes some really good points, but still cannot help coming across as an idiot. An interesting read, nontheless. I can't help but agree with him 100% on his choices and comments. I'm so ashamed.

CLICK FOR ARTICLE

Most Important Point Ever Made

"Terrorism, as bad as it is, should not control our lives." FUCK YEAH BROTHER!

The Brothers Solomon

If you want to see the shittiest movie ever made, make it a point to rent or buy The Brothers Solomon. This movie not only made me want to shit on a babies forehead, but it made me almost hate Bob Odenkirk who is a comedian I have always respected. This shit is bad folks. Avoid at all costs.

In fact, I would like to start a boycott of this movie to prevent its further spread. If you have an unfortunate experience with this film, respond here and we can learn to cope.

This is more LIKE IT!

Are you one of those people who just can't survive without having some sort of religion-like community? Well, there's great news!!! I have come across a church that just might fit your needs.

This church is for the people who are tired of being brainwashed by ancient scripts and the people who control it. This church is for the people who are tired of using a fairy-tale to control their lives. This church is for the people who understand how manipulative and downright horrible most religions really are, but still need some kind of church atmosphere.

May I then introduce, the
FIRST UNIVERSAL CHURCH OF KANTHEISM!!!! (lawl)

"We are free of dogma, and so must our members be, too. No preaching or attempts to “save-the-lost,” please."

Awesome.

I can't help it.

I'm sorry, but I find it extremely entertaining to read this shit. Click on the links for chat sessions of cyber sex gone wrong. These are just clever people fucking with other real life people in chat rooms or instant messengers. It's very much like my Fleshlight post previously. Enjoy!

Albino Cyber Sex

The Sage of Bloodninja

I Accidentally the Economy

Death Magnetic

Metallica.

What do we all think of when that band is mentioned? I can probably sum it up for you. They started as a revolutionary metal band that, well, revolutionized the genre. They created what is arguably the greatest trilogy in metal albums ever. That's right...EVER! Of course I speak of Master of Puppets, Ride the Lightning, and ...And Justice For All. Then what happened? Their audience split when Metallica decided to try things just a tad bit different with 'the Black Album'. Currently many people declare the black beast of a record is their greatest work of art. I personally enjoy it as much as Master of Puppets for instance.

It only got worse, though. Those in opposition of Metallica's slightly different style from the black album shat bricks when Metallica punched them square in the jaw with Load and ReLoad. Those individuals were never happy again. Metallica was changing and showed no remorse. They gained new fans in place of their hardcore, underground followers with their new sound.

Eventually, St. Anger happened. This album was mind-boggling. Gone were the favored guitar solos and metaphor sprinkled lyrics. Instead Metallica fans were left with such gems (sarcasm) like "FRANTIC, TICK, TICK, TICK, TICK, TOCK!" Needless to say just about every fan, new and old, was left unbelievably disappointed. All hope was lost for our metal heroes of the past.

Out of fucking NOWHERE, Metallica strikes again with their newest album, Death Magnetic. I have listened to the entire record several times now, and the first word that came to my mind was nostalgic. That's exactly how it made me feel. Not quite Ride the Lightning, not quite Black Album, it is something entirely new and original; however, it harks the listener back to the days when Metallica kicked your ass with metal and thrash. All in all the album does in fact kick ass. For those of you hesitant about ever purchasing or even listening to another Metallica record, this is the achievement you've been waiting for. It's loud, obnoxious and has more intelligent riffs than you can shake a stick at. Why on earth you would shake a stick at rock music, I don't know, but it's there. Only one song I believe clocks in under seven minutes. The rest are epic rock experiments that will not give up. You will stay in your car after reaching your destination to hear the end of a track. Relentless, smart, old-school, head bangingly happy music is what you will receive upon getting this album. I highly recommend it.

Can I Have Your Attention Please

I would like to draw your attention to the new "The Findings" section to the right of my blog. It's underneath "The Collection". This is now where you will find updated links to interesting shit I find on the internet. Check back often.

Also, I wanted to make some of you readers aware of the fact that you may be lost... NOPE! I refuse to believe it. You can't be lost. You came here intentionally, did you not? That's right! You made a CHOICE and you visited this specific blog. Just remember that. You have a CHOICE to get the fuck out of here and never return if you find something you don't like. So make it.

I'll see you tomorrow dumb shit.

Something I Once Wrote

This is an excerpt from a novel I was working on and never finished. The book was based upon an extremely negative guy. He had experienced nothing but heartache from every girl with whom he was involved. He was also an in the closet atheist who falls in love with a girl from church. I find it quite appropriate to post this small quote on my blog:

Christ.
There he hangs in front of me full of woe. A wooden caricature that probably looks nothing like the real extremist who thought he was the son of a god. Not just any god, but the god that for some reason deserves to simply be called God with a capital ‘G’. It’s this god that compelled me to be here. It’s this god, the supposed triune joining of Yahweh, his son, and a holy spirit that I guess is composed of superglue and holds the trio together in an imaginably ugly mass, that compelled me to come every Sunday morning. It’s this unjustly just monster that gave my grandmother cancer, my grandfather heart disease, my would-be nephew a stillbirth, my cousin down syndrome, and gave me a head full of knowledge. I sat there in that back booth so many years knowing all of this. I worshipped his name; I sang it, I spoke it, I prayed it, I said God God God. Good good good. There I was staring at his wooden face caked with wooden tears and wooden blood and wooden sincerity. There were his wooden arms outstretched upon a wooden cross. There also was his wooden truth. Wooden love. All I had was this stick pasted to a wall to trust. My life is going to be eternal because of this stick. Eventually, the only reason I went to church was because of the smell. Fuck the stick on the wall I would think. I wanted to simply smell the wood of the pews, the wood of the ceiling architecture, the wood of the stick.

“The Lord states every good Christian should tithe. Naturally, the human beings blessed with large amounts of money can give more, but that’s why we base our fellowship’s tithing practices on a percentage. Every good Christian should spare ten percent of their income to the good of the Lord. For the good of our church.”

Mmmmm…the sweet smell of euphoric bliss. The chemical imbalance in my brain, the imbalance that gives people faith, the imbalance that makes the human euphoric, it for me was no longer based upon the inspiring words of a preacher or the downtrodden verse of the Bible. Instead, it was that damned sweet smell. The only reason I knelt for prayer was so my nose would be that much closer to the wooden bench in front of me. I would take a deep breath and let the succulent lumber enter my lungs.

“It’s for the good of God, fellow Christians. Nothing should hold us back. Satan tries, but he should never succeed.”

And so here I sat again on an early Sunday morning that should be spent sleeping to get rid of my hangover. On this day, I started to get angry and fed up. I can’t describe the initiation process of this anger, but it happened and I tested God’s existence. Why am I here? Not in this church. In this life. What the hell kind of madman would create a stage as screwed up as this planet? Am I nonsensical? Am I deranged? Or am I the only one thinking clearly around here? Dear God, give me a friggin’ sign of your being. Let me know you’re here.
Nothing.

Nothing.

Logic

The Flesh of Christ

(Click picture for better view.)

"Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood
dwell in me, says the lord."

I Accidentally My Fleshlight!

First off, if you don't know what a fleshlight is, google it. Second, this link I am about to provide you contains some of the funniest material I have seen on the internet in a long long time. It's pretty much self-explanatory once you dive in and start reading so here ya go:

I ACCIDENTALLY MY FLESHLIGHT!
Be sure and scroll all the way down. There's more!

UPDATE - It appears the photo hosting site does not provide a high enough bandwidth, and so you may catch the pictures offline. Just try again later if you're really that interested. (9/7/08)

UPDATE - Apparently, some person has brought it to my attention that this post is not WITTY nor INTELLIGENT. Or it's not witty AND intelligent. I don't know, it was worded a bit carelessly. Whatever the case, thank you so much Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous (LOL) for bringing it to my attention! I wouldn't have ever figured that out if it weren't for you. Again, I truly thank you for spreading the light of day across all the world with your very astute, anonymous comments. I would send you a thank you letter, but I don't know who you are! I apologize; I will work on getting more intelligently witty content published. (9/7/08)

UPDATE - This blog post is not meant to be witty nor intelligent. Just annoyingly humorous. (9/7/08)

MGS IV

I finally beat Metal Gear Solid 4. I've had the game for a decent amount of time, I just didn't spend the time to sit down and beat it completely. Besides that, I didn't want the game to end. I knew once I beat the story, it was the end of the entire MGS saga. It's actually a little depressing since I have played the series even before the Solid was added to the title.

Whatever the case, MGSIV is a game that will kick you in your knees until they hyper-extend and you prowl the earth like an ostrich. Not that it's very hard, it's just so friggin' kick ass! Every single human being who owns a PS3 has said the same thing. So I'm not here to repeat what everyone else has already said. I'm here to let you know, this video game marks the first time I ALMOST cried during a video game. There have been movies that I almost cry during, but never a game.

It's that good people. Go out and get a PS3 and buy MGS4. Now.

Infinity/10

(want to keep in touch via PS3? Add me: Skoolz)

LOL?

Sexy People and Super Mario Brothers the Movie

If you were a dork like me and actually enjoyed the live action film of Super Mario Brothers, then you might appreciate this picture. Remember the movie's interpretation of 'Goombas'? Does this real life portrait of a dude not fit the bill???

And even if you don't know WHAT THE FUCK i'm talking about, does his head not seem a bit small for his body? Disproportioned bodies FTW!

While you're busy wasting your time on my blog, waste some more time at Sexy People.
It's quite funny. Are these guys serious?

This parody had to happen...

With "Kissed A Girl" actually becoming a hit single, you knew this parody was bound to happen...

Isn't it ironic...

I'm driving down a street. I see a billboard. I look at the billboard (corporate america would have it no other way). This time I see a different kind of advertisement. The billboard says:



Now, what I found ironic about this billboard is the internet address provided for us to visit in order to confront god's ominous message: www.wakeupworld.com I did in fact visit this website and it's just a very poorly developed attempt to start yet another christian business. Speaking of which, sometimes I wish I was a christian because jesus titty fucking christ those guys make a lot of money off of a children's story. Nonetheless, I'm letting myself get distracted. The irony is the fact that the address tells us to wake up. WAKE UP WORLD! When in actuality, it is the followers of religion who need to wake the fuck up. I want to start a billboard campaign for atheists that says shit like "For God so loved the world, he gave your grandmother cancer and the middle east genocide. ~ John 3:fuckteen" When does it end? It does not surprise me though that a town of this size I now live in has a billboard like this. This crumbling, dilapidated town is made of a few dumbass, wannabe gangsters and christians. I can almost not differentiate between the two.

It's Here......

The World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King intro video. Behold.

Perfect Example...

...of how ignorant some of the religious pushers in this world really are. Just another human being we can only hope natural selection will eventually remove from mankind.

Some brief entertainment....

Double Feature: Pineapple Express and Step Brothers

I made time to visit the drive-in theater yesterday to watch two of the newest comedies out there. The first show was Pineapple Express.

I visited the drive-in with very high expectations for Pineapple. I admit to being a huge fan of Seth Rogan's and Judd Apatow's work. 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Superbad...comedies just don't get much better than those nowadays. The same writing team from Superbad return with more of the same dry, repetitive, and sarcastic dialog; and I am glad they didn't try it any other way! The dialog in this set of films is superb. What astonishes me is why writing like this hasn't been attempted in the past. It feels like the easiest screenplay someone could write; however, I still believe only this team could mesh it together as brilliantly as they did in Pineapple Express.

It [Pineapple Express] has mounted itself easily into position on my top comedies list. It has widely been described as a 'stoner action flick', but don't let that mislead you. The so called action sequences are as boldly humorous as the high-as-a-kite conversations. One thing Seth and Evan (who co-wrote both Superbad and Pineapple) can do is keep an audience enthralled by conversation alone. They make it absurdly realistic and dry, and, of course, extremely funny. I honestly haven't laughed that hard at a modern comedy since, well, Superbad!

Honestly, folks, it doesn't get much better than this. Expect a lot of weed, a lot of dumb stoner dialog, and some minor action sprinkled throughout. The best comedy I have seen in a very long time. Go see it!



Now I must say something about the second half of my night out. Step Brothers.
What can I say? Poor Will Ferrell? Is that adequate enough? Poor Will because he's finally getting old. I'm not referring to his age quite yet, but his redundancy rather. You can only do a certain amount of films in a certain amount of time before you realize there's no more steam left and it is time for a break.

Step Brothers wasn't completely awful. It has it's moments thanks in part to Ferrel's and John C. Reilly's expected behavior. It's more of the same. They act like low IQ idiots who consider everything you say to be the dumbest thing they had ever heard; and it's funny! But it does get old quick.

This is the first movie I've seen where I actually felt like the word FUCK was misused/overused. Don't misconstrue me now; I love the word FUCK. I feel it is a significant sentence enhancer when used correctly in comedy. Step Brothers though, man oh man, it felt like the word was forced out of the actors' mouths in places where it wasn't funny and felt completely unnecessary! I've never really experienced such a thing. It was a mind blowing. There was a moment where I got excited and thought the movie might have an entire turnaround. The brothers go to a job interview and guess who is conducting it: Seth Rogan from Pineapple! Here I am sitting and thinking, OMFG! There might be a chance he's in the rest of the movie and now it can only be better!! It turned out that the scene ended with a fart joke and we never see Seth again. There you have it. That is the state of Will Ferrell's current career. He's becoming monotonous and not picking his roles intelligently as of late and we're left wishing a younger, more clever version (Seth) will take over the show.

The writing was sub-par and disappointing. I felt like the last 30 minutes was written in the time it took to watch it. Everything and everyone met their resolutions in such a sharp, brief manner, that even for such a radical film, it was unbelievable and left a sour taste in my mouth. The film had some very funny moments, but they were just too short and sparse.

I love Will Ferrell. I loved his SNL skits, Anchorman, Talladega Nights, and he of course stole the show in Old School. He just needs to slow down and lay low for a little bit until we all miss him again and will yearn for more of his personality. Don't go waste your time with this movie. In fact, the funniest scene from the film WASN'T EVEN IN THE THEATRICAL RELEASE! So just watch the embedded clip below and consider yourself saved.

See more Will Ferrell videos at Funny or Die

Saaarry!

That is, sorry. Sorry I haven't been keeping this blog updated. It's just with moving, and birthdays, and job hunting, and figuring out the thing we call life, it's been rough. But stay tuned. I'll have some new shit posted now, so keep coming back. This is directed to all three of my avid visitors. =/

13 Things That Do Not Make Sense

A very interesting read about some of the scientific mysteries out there. Good times.

CLICKY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

I predict....that no one from San Angelo will acknowledge my birthday just like everyone decided not to acknowledge my moving... more to come on that....

UPDATE
I predict the only way anyone from San Angelo will wish me a happy birthday is through dumbass myspace. More to come....

UPDATE
I was right!

Guts

Worth a read. A short story by one of my favorite authors of all time, Chuck Palahniuk. This is the story that started the "Guts Effect". During his public readings of the short story, people would faint due to the content of the story. I won't go into detail because Chuck did so better already:

"On the promotion tour for my novel Diary, I read 'Guts' for the first time in public. This was in a crowded bookstore in Portland, Oregon. Powell's City of Books. A film crew was there from the Netherlands to shoot a documentary. About eight hundred people filled the store to fire code capacity. Reading 'Guts' takes a full head of steam. You don't get many moments to look up from the page. But when I did, the faces in the front row looked a little gray. Beyond that were questions and answers. The book signing. The end.

It wasn't until I'd signed the last book that a clerk said two people had fainted. Two young men. They'd both dropped to the concrete floor during 'Guts', but they were fine now. With no memory of anything between standing, listening, and waking up surrounded by people's feet."

The Guts Effect Explanation

The actual short story "Guts" (don't read without supervision in case you faint in your chair. Don't wanna choke on your tongue)

I'm Leaving.

To all those that know me personally, I am leaving San Angelo. I must say the town has treated me both horribly and wonderfully over the last four years. I have met some fantastic people, a lot of which have come and gone. I have met some terrible, terrible people that I am hoping natural selection will soon rid from our planet. I did a lot of growing up in San Angelo. I did a lot of school, I did a lot of drugs, I did a lot of parties, etc. etc. The good times, the bad... I will miss it all and reflect upon those days as some of the most influential!

Most importantly, I will miss the friends that have never deceived me. It's hard to find friends like that anymore.

Where am I going? For now, I'm going to Big Spring to live with my mom (yeah yeah) with my wonderful girlfriend. She is doing us an immense favor by allowing us to live there until we figure out what the FUCK we want to do with our lives. Save some money....then what? Probably finish school, get out of state, maybe go out east somewhere. Only the not too distant future will tell.

In any case, farewell San Angelo. I'll be back to visit, folks. Peace out!

(i'm leaving before the month of july is up. so hit me up to hang out before that time)

OH MY UNHOLY, NON-EXISTENT GOD!!!

I ran across something on the internet today. It was a mere accident. I can't take it back. It's too late. I already clicked the link and suffered the consequences. Now, I offer you the same chance to visit a website you will soon after regret visiting.

Here is Chase. A cat who was apparently in an accident when only four weeks old. The accident left Chase with no face. I mean, he has a face, it just lacks the materials that make it a legitimate face, like skin and fur. The picture above has a handy dandy black circle over his would be face. Click the link below for an unedited view of this cat.

CLICK FOR CHASE THE NO FACE

Click here for Chase's daily blog...

Discuss.....

George Carlin is dead.

One of the greatest comedians of all time has died. His antics, atheism, and political views will be sorely missed. He was a comedic warrior who said what he felt was right and made even people who disagreed with him roll on the floor with laughter.

Now I leave you with some of his art:

Religulous - the film I anticipate most

Bill Maher may claim to be agnostic and not full blown atheist, but regardless of his belief system, his new documentary has got me filled to the brim with excitement! I love it when people have the balls to show religious fanatics how ridiculous they truly are. And this film promises just that. I'll introduce you to Religulous with quotes from both Bill Maher and the film's director, Larry Charles:

Ok. An old God, a very buff old God that lives in space decides to create the first man from earth dust, then makes a woman from that man’s rib. They get to live forever if they don’t eat the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge, but the woman is tricked into eating a piece by a talking snake and all future humanity is cursed. Or, how bout this one? This same space God who lives in the sky and has power over everything decides he wants a son, so he impregnates a woman but she remains a virgin. And, the child can walk on water and raise the dead. But his father, the sky God, sends him on a suicide mission to save humanity. After he dies, he rises from the dead and flies into space to be with his father (who is also him.)

Greek myths? The latest installment of the “Lord of the Rings”? Disney’s new animated movie? No! These are the foundations of Western religion. The tenuous shaky belief systems that our entire civilization rests upon.

What do you believe, why do you believe it, and why do you need to believe it? Can we be good without God? Is religion a calling or a mental illness? Were Jesus, Moses and Mohammed prophets and visionaries, or crackpot nut cases who today would be put away? Is religion an obsessive-compulsive disorder?

Comedian, acerbic commentator, raconteur, skeptic, seeker Bill Maher and I set off in search of answers to these questions in a raunchy, rude, irreverent, outrageous, and shocking nonfiction film about the greatest fiction ever told.

Set to the rhythms of “Sympathy for the Devil” and “Jesus Walks,” from the Western Wall to the Vatican, from self-professed messiahs to self professed Pariahs, we will not only expose the hypocrisy and corruption in organized religion but the absurdly hilarious logic that holds it together.We will talk to clergy, extremists, scholars, politicians, ex-cons, the man on the street and even the man upstairs (that’s right, we interview God.)

The funny will be scary, the scary wildly funny. The crazy will seem sane and the sane absolutely and undeniably crazy. All lines are blurred. All bets are off. We will get inside, on top of, behind, and in front of religion.

~Larry Charles

Since starting on Politically Incorrect in 1993, it has been my pleasure over the last decade and a half to make organized religion one of my favorite targets. I often explained to people, “I don’t need to make fun of religion, it makes fun of itself.” And, then I go ahead and make fun of it too, just for laughs.

With religious fanatics like George Bush and Osama bin Laden now taking over the world, it seemed to me in recent years that this issue — this cause of debunking the man behind the curtain — needed to have a larger, more insistent and focused forum than late night television. I wanted to make a documentary, and I wanted it to be funny. In fact, since there is nothing more ridiculous than the ancient mythological stories that live on as today’s religions, this movie would try to be a real knee slapper. Unless, of course, you’re religious, then you might not like it.

Who could I get to direct me on such an epic quest? In reality, there was only one man, and his name is Larry Charles. I hope that together we fulfilled that quest. Which really isn’t that hard, considering that comedically speaking, the topic of religion is pretty much hitting the side of a barn.

As a comedian, religion has always interested me — it was the single easiest subject to make jokes about. I think that tells us something: comedians look for things that don’t make sense, that are illogical.

Even as a young comedian, routines I did that got the biggest laughs and got me invited back on the Tonight Show were the religious ones — like the one about being half Catholic and half Jewish and bringing a lawyer into confession: “Bless me father for I have sinned — and I think you know Mr. Cohen . . .”

Politics is a rich area, but even politicians, although they promise some ridiculous stuff, don’t approach the level of, for example, the Mormon practice of promising couples a planet to rule over in the after life if they have a really good marriage on earth. They give you a planet — kinda like when someone gives you a certificate that says a star has been named after you — except here, they really give you the star!

Join me in the final battle between intelligence and stupidity that will decide the future of humanity. Coming soon to a house of false idols near you.

–Bill Maher

Sounds amazing. I urge every christian to go watch this when it's released so you can laugh at yourself and realize... oh shit, THEY'RE RIGHT!!!

IF ONLY!!!

If only there were a way to replace every animal activist with a human activist. Can you imagine? First think of how assiduous they are towards the saving animals concept. Then imagine that same devotion handed to solving human cruelty. Imagine all the money donated to help give animals homes.... Then think of that same amount of money instead being contributed to curing cancer.

I do NOT by any means promote animal cruelty or needless killing. I do promote the human mind to help other human minds. Science has proven the lack of TRUE intelligence in dogs, cats, hamsters, etc. I'm not saying we shouldn't get attached to an animal. I'm just saying money should not be spent on saving shit that cannot be saved. Money is spent on already defunct animals that do not even have the ability to realize they are defunctified. (no that's not a word, but I want it to be)

Instead of donating money to pay for euthanasia, use it to pay for saving a human. Fuck it, use it to save millions of humans. Use it to one day save yourself.

Why am I so cynical?

I have the greatest girlfriend on earth. We're madly in love. We have our occasional squabbles about nonsense, but it's healthy. I'm very much in love and could not be happier about my love life. I wouldn't change a thing about it.

My mom loves me. She would break her back to help me, and she practically has already. She has done more than I could have ever asked her to do. What have I done to repay her? Nothing. I'm a bastard.

I have had throughout my life numerous friends. I make friends very easily. I can pinpoint those who aren't idiots most of the time and make them my friends. I have made some mistakes before, but that's not the point. They are always there for me and I try to be there for them. But I'm not good at it. My intentions are good, but I can tend to be a recluse. No biggie. My friend selection was adequate enough that they understand my mind and deal with it most the time.

I am poor, but have cool shit. Despite my stuttering income, I still have a very healthy computer that can handle some of the newest games set on the highest quality. I have a PS3 and several games to play, some of which I haven't even beaten or played often. Some would say my gaming investments are purely over-expenditures.

I like beer. Sometimes when I have days off, I love drinking a 12 pack. I don't drink very often anymore, but I have become accustomed to drinking some beer every so often.

........

My life seems pretty average. It almost appears as though anybody could have posted this blog. SO WHY THE FUCK AM I SO CYNICAL?

I'll fucking tell you why. Amidst all this average life living, there is something extra lurking amongst the daily grind. Something monstrous. Something malicious. If malignant tumors could shit emotion, that is what is felt:

"WHY DOES RELIGION HAVE TO EXIST?"

"THERE IS NO MEANING TO LIFE. JUST COINCIDENCE."

"WHETHER OR NOT YOU'RE RELIGIOUS DOES NOT MATTER. IN THE END, YOU'RE A ROTTING CORPSE."

"WHY CAN'T MY GIRLFRIEND AND I LIVE TOGETHER FOREVER WITHOUT FEAR FOR THE INEVITABLE DIRT NAP?"

"WHY DO I HAVE TO OUTCAST MYSELF FROM THE REST OF MY FAMILY WITH MY BELIEFS?"

.......

The truth remains the same. I would not change a thing.