Why am I so cynical?

I have the greatest girlfriend on earth. We're madly in love. We have our occasional squabbles about nonsense, but it's healthy. I'm very much in love and could not be happier about my love life. I wouldn't change a thing about it.

My mom loves me. She would break her back to help me, and she practically has already. She has done more than I could have ever asked her to do. What have I done to repay her? Nothing. I'm a bastard.

I have had throughout my life numerous friends. I make friends very easily. I can pinpoint those who aren't idiots most of the time and make them my friends. I have made some mistakes before, but that's not the point. They are always there for me and I try to be there for them. But I'm not good at it. My intentions are good, but I can tend to be a recluse. No biggie. My friend selection was adequate enough that they understand my mind and deal with it most the time.

I am poor, but have cool shit. Despite my stuttering income, I still have a very healthy computer that can handle some of the newest games set on the highest quality. I have a PS3 and several games to play, some of which I haven't even beaten or played often. Some would say my gaming investments are purely over-expenditures.

I like beer. Sometimes when I have days off, I love drinking a 12 pack. I don't drink very often anymore, but I have become accustomed to drinking some beer every so often.

........

My life seems pretty average. It almost appears as though anybody could have posted this blog. SO WHY THE FUCK AM I SO CYNICAL?

I'll fucking tell you why. Amidst all this average life living, there is something extra lurking amongst the daily grind. Something monstrous. Something malicious. If malignant tumors could shit emotion, that is what is felt:

"WHY DOES RELIGION HAVE TO EXIST?"

"THERE IS NO MEANING TO LIFE. JUST COINCIDENCE."

"WHETHER OR NOT YOU'RE RELIGIOUS DOES NOT MATTER. IN THE END, YOU'RE A ROTTING CORPSE."

"WHY CAN'T MY GIRLFRIEND AND I LIVE TOGETHER FOREVER WITHOUT FEAR FOR THE INEVITABLE DIRT NAP?"

"WHY DO I HAVE TO OUTCAST MYSELF FROM THE REST OF MY FAMILY WITH MY BELIEFS?"

.......

The truth remains the same. I would not change a thing.