13 Things That Do Not Make Sense

A very interesting read about some of the scientific mysteries out there. Good times.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

I predict....that no one from San Angelo will acknowledge my birthday just like everyone decided not to acknowledge my moving... more to come on that....

UPDATE
I predict the only way anyone from San Angelo will wish me a happy birthday is through dumbass myspace. More to come....

UPDATE
I was right!

Guts

Worth a read. A short story by one of my favorite authors of all time, Chuck Palahniuk. This is the story that started the "Guts Effect". During his public readings of the short story, people would faint due to the content of the story. I won't go into detail because Chuck did so better already:

"On the promotion tour for my novel Diary, I read 'Guts' for the first time in public. This was in a crowded bookstore in Portland, Oregon. Powell's City of Books. A film crew was there from the Netherlands to shoot a documentary. About eight hundred people filled the store to fire code capacity. Reading 'Guts' takes a full head of steam. You don't get many moments to look up from the page. But when I did, the faces in the front row looked a little gray. Beyond that were questions and answers. The book signing. The end.

It wasn't until I'd signed the last book that a clerk said two people had fainted. Two young men. They'd both dropped to the concrete floor during 'Guts', but they were fine now. With no memory of anything between standing, listening, and waking up surrounded by people's feet."

The Guts Effect Explanation

The actual short story "Guts" (don't read without supervision in case you faint in your chair. Don't wanna choke on your tongue)

I'm Leaving.

To all those that know me personally, I am leaving San Angelo. I must say the town has treated me both horribly and wonderfully over the last four years. I have met some fantastic people, a lot of which have come and gone. I have met some terrible, terrible people that I am hoping natural selection will soon rid from our planet. I did a lot of growing up in San Angelo. I did a lot of school, I did a lot of drugs, I did a lot of parties, etc. etc. The good times, the bad... I will miss it all and reflect upon those days as some of the most influential!

Most importantly, I will miss the friends that have never deceived me. It's hard to find friends like that anymore.

Where am I going? For now, I'm going to Big Spring to live with my mom (yeah yeah) with my wonderful girlfriend. She is doing us an immense favor by allowing us to live there until we figure out what the FUCK we want to do with our lives. Save some money....then what? Probably finish school, get out of state, maybe go out east somewhere. Only the not too distant future will tell.

In any case, farewell San Angelo. I'll be back to visit, folks. Peace out!

(i'm leaving before the month of july is up. so hit me up to hang out before that time)

OH MY UNHOLY, NON-EXISTENT GOD!!!

I ran across something on the internet today. It was a mere accident. I can't take it back. It's too late. I already clicked the link and suffered the consequences. Now, I offer you the same chance to visit a website you will soon after regret visiting.

Here is Chase. A cat who was apparently in an accident when only four weeks old. The accident left Chase with no face. I mean, he has a face, it just lacks the materials that make it a legitimate face, like skin and fur. The picture above has a handy dandy black circle over his would be face. Click the link below for an unedited view of this cat.

CLICK FOR CHASE THE NO FACE

Click here for Chase's daily blog...

Discuss.....

George Carlin is dead.

One of the greatest comedians of all time has died. His antics, atheism, and political views will be sorely missed. He was a comedic warrior who said what he felt was right and made even people who disagreed with him roll on the floor with laughter.

Now I leave you with some of his art:

Religulous - the film I anticipate most

Bill Maher may claim to be agnostic and not full blown atheist, but regardless of his belief system, his new documentary has got me filled to the brim with excitement! I love it when people have the balls to show religious fanatics how ridiculous they truly are. And this film promises just that. I'll introduce you to Religulous with quotes from both Bill Maher and the film's director, Larry Charles:

Ok. An old God, a very buff old God that lives in space decides to create the first man from earth dust, then makes a woman from that man’s rib. They get to live forever if they don’t eat the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge, but the woman is tricked into eating a piece by a talking snake and all future humanity is cursed. Or, how bout this one? This same space God who lives in the sky and has power over everything decides he wants a son, so he impregnates a woman but she remains a virgin. And, the child can walk on water and raise the dead. But his father, the sky God, sends him on a suicide mission to save humanity. After he dies, he rises from the dead and flies into space to be with his father (who is also him.)

Greek myths? The latest installment of the “Lord of the Rings”? Disney’s new animated movie? No! These are the foundations of Western religion. The tenuous shaky belief systems that our entire civilization rests upon.

What do you believe, why do you believe it, and why do you need to believe it? Can we be good without God? Is religion a calling or a mental illness? Were Jesus, Moses and Mohammed prophets and visionaries, or crackpot nut cases who today would be put away? Is religion an obsessive-compulsive disorder?

Comedian, acerbic commentator, raconteur, skeptic, seeker Bill Maher and I set off in search of answers to these questions in a raunchy, rude, irreverent, outrageous, and shocking nonfiction film about the greatest fiction ever told.

Set to the rhythms of “Sympathy for the Devil” and “Jesus Walks,” from the Western Wall to the Vatican, from self-professed messiahs to self professed Pariahs, we will not only expose the hypocrisy and corruption in organized religion but the absurdly hilarious logic that holds it together.We will talk to clergy, extremists, scholars, politicians, ex-cons, the man on the street and even the man upstairs (that’s right, we interview God.)

The funny will be scary, the scary wildly funny. The crazy will seem sane and the sane absolutely and undeniably crazy. All lines are blurred. All bets are off. We will get inside, on top of, behind, and in front of religion.

~Larry Charles

Since starting on Politically Incorrect in 1993, it has been my pleasure over the last decade and a half to make organized religion one of my favorite targets. I often explained to people, “I don’t need to make fun of religion, it makes fun of itself.” And, then I go ahead and make fun of it too, just for laughs.

With religious fanatics like George Bush and Osama bin Laden now taking over the world, it seemed to me in recent years that this issue — this cause of debunking the man behind the curtain — needed to have a larger, more insistent and focused forum than late night television. I wanted to make a documentary, and I wanted it to be funny. In fact, since there is nothing more ridiculous than the ancient mythological stories that live on as today’s religions, this movie would try to be a real knee slapper. Unless, of course, you’re religious, then you might not like it.

Who could I get to direct me on such an epic quest? In reality, there was only one man, and his name is Larry Charles. I hope that together we fulfilled that quest. Which really isn’t that hard, considering that comedically speaking, the topic of religion is pretty much hitting the side of a barn.

As a comedian, religion has always interested me — it was the single easiest subject to make jokes about. I think that tells us something: comedians look for things that don’t make sense, that are illogical.

Even as a young comedian, routines I did that got the biggest laughs and got me invited back on the Tonight Show were the religious ones — like the one about being half Catholic and half Jewish and bringing a lawyer into confession: “Bless me father for I have sinned — and I think you know Mr. Cohen . . .”

Politics is a rich area, but even politicians, although they promise some ridiculous stuff, don’t approach the level of, for example, the Mormon practice of promising couples a planet to rule over in the after life if they have a really good marriage on earth. They give you a planet — kinda like when someone gives you a certificate that says a star has been named after you — except here, they really give you the star!

Join me in the final battle between intelligence and stupidity that will decide the future of humanity. Coming soon to a house of false idols near you.

–Bill Maher

Sounds amazing. I urge every christian to go watch this when it's released so you can laugh at yourself and realize... oh shit, THEY'RE RIGHT!!!

IF ONLY!!!

If only there were a way to replace every animal activist with a human activist. Can you imagine? First think of how assiduous they are towards the saving animals concept. Then imagine that same devotion handed to solving human cruelty. Imagine all the money donated to help give animals homes.... Then think of that same amount of money instead being contributed to curing cancer.

I do NOT by any means promote animal cruelty or needless killing. I do promote the human mind to help other human minds. Science has proven the lack of TRUE intelligence in dogs, cats, hamsters, etc. I'm not saying we shouldn't get attached to an animal. I'm just saying money should not be spent on saving shit that cannot be saved. Money is spent on already defunct animals that do not even have the ability to realize they are defunctified. (no that's not a word, but I want it to be)

Instead of donating money to pay for euthanasia, use it to pay for saving a human. Fuck it, use it to save millions of humans. Use it to one day save yourself.

Why am I so cynical?

I have the greatest girlfriend on earth. We're madly in love. We have our occasional squabbles about nonsense, but it's healthy. I'm very much in love and could not be happier about my love life. I wouldn't change a thing about it.

My mom loves me. She would break her back to help me, and she practically has already. She has done more than I could have ever asked her to do. What have I done to repay her? Nothing. I'm a bastard.

I have had throughout my life numerous friends. I make friends very easily. I can pinpoint those who aren't idiots most of the time and make them my friends. I have made some mistakes before, but that's not the point. They are always there for me and I try to be there for them. But I'm not good at it. My intentions are good, but I can tend to be a recluse. No biggie. My friend selection was adequate enough that they understand my mind and deal with it most the time.

I am poor, but have cool shit. Despite my stuttering income, I still have a very healthy computer that can handle some of the newest games set on the highest quality. I have a PS3 and several games to play, some of which I haven't even beaten or played often. Some would say my gaming investments are purely over-expenditures.

I like beer. Sometimes when I have days off, I love drinking a 12 pack. I don't drink very often anymore, but I have become accustomed to drinking some beer every so often.

........

My life seems pretty average. It almost appears as though anybody could have posted this blog. SO WHY THE FUCK AM I SO CYNICAL?

I'll fucking tell you why. Amidst all this average life living, there is something extra lurking amongst the daily grind. Something monstrous. Something malicious. If malignant tumors could shit emotion, that is what is felt:

"WHY DOES RELIGION HAVE TO EXIST?"

"THERE IS NO MEANING TO LIFE. JUST COINCIDENCE."

"WHETHER OR NOT YOU'RE RELIGIOUS DOES NOT MATTER. IN THE END, YOU'RE A ROTTING CORPSE."

"WHY CAN'T MY GIRLFRIEND AND I LIVE TOGETHER FOREVER WITHOUT FEAR FOR THE INEVITABLE DIRT NAP?"

"WHY DO I HAVE TO OUTCAST MYSELF FROM THE REST OF MY FAMILY WITH MY BELIEFS?"

.......

The truth remains the same. I would not change a thing.

8 Classic Movie Robots That Actually Suck at Their Job

Leave it up to Cracked.com to come up with this hilarity.

8 CLASSIC MOVIE ROBOTS...