Oil, Gas, etc etc. It's expensive...

Why is this shit so expensive? What is going on? Here I invite you to visit a site that answers every question. It's unfortunate. But here it is anywho.

CLICK HERE FUCKERS.

It's not too late to save yourself.

I watch TV. I hate it, but the truth maintains that I watch TV. I don't watch it often. I ignore it during the day and purposely avoid primetime television. It's full of crap that is created to simply brainwash the viewer and make them spend more money. Whatever..if you have the money and wish to blow it on bullshit, all power to you. My problem is that I have not found my niche in life yet, and cannot afford to pay attention to the brainwashing media.

What is my point? Ah yes...out of all the television I actually 'watch', a decent percentage of it is late night paid programming. I watch it, not to find something I can buy, but because it's a very interesting sociological observance. To really focus on these maniacs hosting their own little feature length commercial is out of this world. Do it. Stay up late one night and watch these infomercials. Then ask yourself, "Can I imagine myself doing the exact same thing this host is doing?" You'll have a mind-attack. You'll realize that some people exist and have been trained to sound 'appealing' to the common populace. They appeal mainly to fat middle aged housewives who have no job.

What else does this sound like? When I sit and criticize these television infomercials, another largely popular bullshit fest comes to mind....religion. I sit and tend to compare these bitches selling sharp knives or an indoor botanical garden that grows plump tomatoes with the christian fanatics who have their own television specials. Not only that, but with christianity in general. I notice they share the same characteristics. They both act overzealous. They act very excited about their product (god). Hence, my point... the god christians seek is itself a product. It's just another mindless money making scheme. Capitalism has brought upon a race for fortune, and I guarantee the first sought upon source was religion. I personally even believe that the sole reason christianity is as popular as it is today is because it was marketed as much as the IPOD was. Think about it, truly.

Do you want an IPOD as much as you want salvation? How about a BMW? How about EVERYTHING ELSE THAT IS ADVERTISED ON TV? I'm not trying to up the reliability of religion by making it seem small compared to advertising...I'm trying to show you that religion exists only as a marketing tool. When individuals have an epiphany and become 'saved' in religion, it's usually to fit in. What does advertising for materialistic product make us do? The exact same thing. There's a gigantic connection here, folks. I can't reiterate enough that it is in fact an epidemic of epic proportions. Obesity, cancer, AIDS...those diseases have nothing against the rise of 'christianity' or 'islam' or whatever the fuck other religions promote discrimination and murder.

Christianity is as important as an IPOD. The only problem is the christian fad will outlast the IPOD. Product does not kill cities at a time. Product does not keep bordering countries at war near as badly as religion does.

Open your eyes and see the relevance. Join the current resistance. Don't become a mindless zombie following socialized norm. Be free. Use your mind. Don't let THEM use it for you.

We all deserve to die....

"Sweeney Todd" has easily joined my top 5 movies of all time list. It is incredible, it is beautiful, and the music is MESMERIZING! Therefore, I celebrate my addiction to this movie with some of my favorite songs/clips. Watch 'em before they're gang-raped by the FBI.

The Worst Movie You Never Heard Of

In response to the opening of my previous blog 'The Best Movie You Never Heard Of', this next flick is the 1% I have had terrible luck.

Have you ever wanted to stick a fork in your thigh? Have you ever wanted to bob for apples in boiling water? I would assume the answer to both is a resounding NO. Therefore, the following question can be classified with the two previous: Have you ever wanted to watch "Automaton Transfusion"?

I'm going to be honest with you. I couldn't finish this movie. I saw it in the store, read about the concept, and thought to myself, 'wow, an independent zombie film might be pretty hardcore'. Well, it was hardcore.

I wanted buckets of gore, and got it for the most part...kinda. The gore was laced with earthquake equivalent camera shaking turbulence, probably to hide the low budget special effects. And it didn't take me long to realize that the same 'hardcore gore' was being repeated with every single death... a zombie bites a human's cheek and rips it off. There were just a couple exceptions, one of which was slightly cool, but in no way could redeem the movie: to be short and sweet, a zombie punches a pregnant woman's stomach with enough force that he breaks into her uterus. He then pulls out the fetus and chews on it a bit. Kind of a cool idea. It's just too bad it wasn't used in a better movie.


It's immediately obvious that the bulk of this movie's tiny budget was spent on gore effects. The low quality film itself was almost unbearable to watch. The highest of high def televisions would still present the grainiest display I have ever witnessed, even in an independent film. Imagine Darren Aronofsky's "Pi" covered in poop. Plus, the entire movie felt like an aged computer trying to play Crysis with full graphic detail. That's right folks. You get a constant LAG effect throughout the entire movie.

The synopsis (for lack of a better term for such a horribly written script) is a dude in a morgue gets his cheek ripped off. Suddenly, we're in a high school with a bunch of teen dumbasses who can't act with some obscure punk rock playing in the background. Suddenly, a teacher gets bit by a student. It's ok though, because about 5 minutes later, the movie's heroes who have witnessed the event seem to not even care that a zombie student just, you guessed it, ripped a teacher's cheek off. They go on with their regular chit chat about some lame concert in some lame town they have to go to that night. On the way to aforementioned concert, they notice there is no traffic. Trust me, they are PHENOMENALLY bewildered by the fact that a country highway in the middle of the forest is empty during rush hour. I'm telling you folks, this movie is ridiculous. Anyway, we see some more cheeks getting ripped, our so called 'heroes' running from really fast zombies. Finally, they find some weaponry and each star spends a minute or two inspecting their weapon of choice as if they had never seen an axe, bat, or shotgun before. They run out and start attacking the zombies as the camera flails about mindlessly sometimes catching the action, and other times just showing us a random zombie's arm or leg. It was shortly after this i just had to stop the film. They escape in a car, the camera wobbles about furiously, we hear screaming, see a couple dudes rolling down a hill, and conclusively left wondering what the FUCK just happened. We soon learn that somehow our heroes got split up. And by split up, i mean FAR FUCKING AWAY from each other. It was the most absurd transition I have ever witnessed in a movie. Some more extremely unintelligent dialog followed, and ended with the power button of my remote.

I returned the movie. They actually let me exchange it for the box office bomb "Across the Universe". I found that a huge relief because I would not have been able to live with myself knowing I spent money on the atrocity known as "Automaton Transfusion".

I did however take the time to research how the rest of the movie went. Believe it or not, the movie ends 100% inconclusively...they even throw in a "To be continued..." at the end. I'm not kidding.

So, what could you do with your time besides watch this movie? Shoot heroin? Commit suicide? Stick needles in your testicles? Rape your own asshole with a rake? Kill your own mother? All of the above would be a better option than wasting your retinas on this piece of SHIT.

The Best Movie You Never Heard Of

There's only a small chance you heard of a little gem of a movie named "WristCutters". Being a sucker for independent films, I usually just buy one from the local used DVD shop despite having not seen it. If I pass it, and it looks interesting, I just might buy it and hope that I didn't just waste my money. 99% of the time, I have fantastic luck.

This was one of those times. "WristCutters" is a strange idea to say the least. An ex-boyfriend kills himself, lands in a purgatory similar to the real world, and finds out his ex-girlfriend has also 'offed' herself. He then departs on a mild road trip with his awkward Russian friend to find his ex. Things get complicated when they decide to pick up a female hitchhiker and learn she is trying to find the People In Charge because her suicide was a mistake. Emotions do run rampant as very poignant issues about life, love, and heartbreak are revealed.

The soundtrack is fun. We hear the Russian's old band from when he was alive and get a taste of some pretty unique, yet catchy tunes. Despite the quirky dialog the characters share intermittently, the film successfully charmed me in every way imaginable. I was hesitant about taking the piss break I so desperately required because of how much this movie consumed me. Worth the buy and repeat viewings. So for those of you who would have never heard of this movie otherwise, I suggest you give it a try.

No Country For Old Men

Finally bought this flick. I have been wanting to watch it for a long time. I'm not much of a theater attendee nowadays, but when I know something is going to be good, I will catch it on DVD.

The Coen brothers have already wowed me in the past with beautifully conducted productions such as Fargo and the can't be missed Big Lebowski. Ladykillers kicked some royal ass, too. Now, they sink further into the thriller/suspense genre with No Country for Old Men. This movie is enveloped with suspense due in part by the Coens' tricky camera angles and brilliant character development. We are given an antagonist who is perceived as one of the most badass killers ever presented in a movie. We shift a little closer to the edge of our seat every time he's on screen. Javier Bardem knows how to play a bad guy, and he knows how to play it well. Everything meshes together almost perfectly. There's even a lesson or two to be learned inside the film's symbolic undertones and themes.

If you know what's good for you, you will not miss the Coen bros' newest masterpiece.

GTA IV is awesome...

Can't stop playing..... must see what happens to Niko next......must kill more players online.............must do more co-op with local friends........

This game rules. 10/10

Who the FUCK do I vote for?

I am very embarrassed to admit that I voted for George W. Bush once. The only thought that eases my mind is that I live in Texas and whether I had voted for him or not, he still would've won the state. That is still just a pitiful excuse.

So now a conundrum introduces itself to my thought process. I want to try and make a difference, but I feel no matter what direction I vote this election (if I even choose to) it will bring a jackass into office.


Republicans are represented by a war mongering, tyrannical peace breaker. McCain wants nothing more than to get his spot on the throne and bomb the living fuck out of everyone that stereotypically fits an axis of evil description. I don't know about you, but I'm older and much more mature now, and I don't really feel like sitting in front of the TV again as CNN showcases mass destruction in some foreign country we know nothing about. Wow! Look at the live coverage of bombs obliterating Iran! God Bless America!!! We fucking rule! BLAM BLAM! Yeah, not my style. I just threw up in my mouth a tad bit thinking about it. I won't lie, the first time I caught the live coverage of Baghdad being sieged by death showers on EVERY SINGLE CHANNEL, i was mesmerized. It was spectacular. I thought it was cool that we were able to catch such action live nowadays. It was like watching the ultimate reality TV show. The problem here is that right there. I regret feeling that adrenaline rush, but it helps me understand that millions upon millions of other humans were sitting there feeling the same thing. The media glorifies it on purpose. I will put a baseball bat through my television before I sit and watch that shit again. Do I want a pompous bitch like John McCain as president? FUCK NO! But will there be a worthwhile alternative?

This brings me to the democrat candidates. First we're in the midst of Obama winning the democrat candidacy. But will it matter really whether he or Hillary wins it? They both are a little tamer than the wild eyed, chipmunk child republican candidate. Clinton has a health care resolution that sounded promising at first when the term "universal healthcare" was being tossed around, but we all discovered it wasn't REALLY a universal healthcare proposition more than it was a behind-the-scenes, devious plot to make insurance and pharmaceutical companies even MORE obscene profits. Obama promotes peace, but then seems to throw in little innuendos about how we just may not have a choice but to bomb *insert random third world country name here*. They're both shady, and I don't like it at all.

So it leaves us with a very unbearable choice. Do we want a violent racist republican president who's not afraid to admit it, or a shady democrat with a penciled in smile on their faces? Now, I present the idea that it probably doesn't even matter.

Whoever takes the democrat candidacy, it's going to be a radical addition to our country's history. It's not by any means a bad addition; HOWEVER, you and I both know it's going to bring the ants out of the labyrinth of dirt and into the polls come this election. Who are the ants? Every democrat and republican, who may or may not have even voted in the last umpteen elections, that cannot even fathom having a woman or a black guy 'run' our country. The democrat views, ideals, programs, etc. will not matter to this mass quantity of racists/male chauvinists. All they know is they have always had a white male president and they want to keep it that way. Their votes will swing their way into McCain's greedy, power hungry hands.

In conclusion, McCain will probably be our next president. I don't want it that way, but many will emerge from their hermit dwellings to vote against the abnormal. The American people for the most part are afraid of change. Would I prefer a democrat? Probably. Will I vote? Probably not.

Ralph Nader seems the only reasonable vote nowadays, but we all know, a vote for Nader is a vote for...

Once you have opened this bulletin...

There is a myspace page I once called my own. It still exists but I have made a commitment to no longer update it nor visit it. The only reason I can't delete it is because the original email I used to register is long gone and they won't let me get rid of it without a confirmation email. Anyway, why did I make this commitment? I hated the entire concept of myspace. The two things I miss, however, are blogging (which I have renewed with this new site) and editing friends' bulletins to poke fun at how retarded they were for posting the unintelligible crap to begin with. And tonight, I bring you an example:

Once you have opened this bulletin, there's no turning back. Below are true descriptions of zodiac signs, with traits from a book written 35 years ago by an astrologist predictionist. Read your sign, then repost this in a new bulletin with your zodiac sign and label. If u dont repost this, u will have bad luck for as long as it says in your description!!

V • I • R • G • O: The Moron

Aggressively stupid. Sucks on thumb until an age as late as 32 years. Cannot form complete sentences unless they have a 'wing-man' to finish it for them. Tends to spend most of their life in their natural habitat known only as THE GYM. The guys' penises are extremely small and the females could use their labias as a parachute. 2 minutes of excruciating bad luck if you don't repost.

S • C • O • R • P • I • O: The tumorous

Spends 98% of their life talking on a cell phone. Has the supernatural ability to hear a phone ring from as much as 9 miles away. The incessant ringing of everyone's phone within that 9 mile radius makes all Scorpios complete idiots. Since a cell phone is suctioned to their head for most of their life, their skull, brain, and facial tissue is completely infected by tumors. They are slaves to mobile communication and text messaging and will probably die an empty shell of a human being. 75 years of bad luck whether you repost this or not.

L • I • B • R • A: The chlamydiac

Ugly as fuck, but still manages to have sex more often than any other sign. That is of course because they screw mutually hideous creatures, and hideous creatures are of high abundance in the U.S. Their genitalia is usually rotten by the ripe age of 24. Testicles hang to the mid-thigh by age 36, and vaginal flaps look like Angelina Jolie's smile by age 25. All Libras should go see a doctor immediately or you know what your bad luck will be.

A • R • I • E • S: The homosexual

Everyone with this sign is a queer. Not that there's anything wrong with that. A lifetime without ever finding a same sex partner is in store if you don't repost this.

A • Q • U • A • R • I • U • S: Poops in the water

Generally does not have a concern for the well being of the environment or the individuals who live in it. Full blown dumbass. Tends to eat shit for breakfast. The worse thing is they are fully aware that they are wasting our oxygen by existing. Though this sign should have the highest suicidal rate, it doesn't. Instead we're left with a mindless, littering, Hummer driving idiot that can't help but shit and piss while they walk ANYWHERE. Infinite years of bad luck if you don't repost this.

G • E • M • I • N • I: Ultra idiotic

Borderline tree stump. Somehow manages to make it from point A to point B but usually with the help of a Leo. Wears what they like to call a cowboy hat, otherwise known as a dunce cap. The hump in the "cowboy hat" is usually used to store extra 'chaw' or 'dip' or 'tobaccy'. Others have been known to carry a roll of toilet paper for when they have an 'accident'. Legends predict that all Geminis will eventually be wiped to extinction in a process of elimination known only as RODEO. I won't even bother asking you to repost or offer you bad luck, b/c you have it bad enough and you don't know what a 'puter is.

L • E • O: God-like

Great talker. Sexy and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at everything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Loyal.Addictive. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Great when found. Leos are all gods of their own nature. They shun all other forms of scripture except their own. They are by far the greatest beings to grace this ill-ridden planet. Will have billions of years of good luck when you repost this.

C • A • N • C • E • R: Worst Kisser

Kissing a cancer is like kissing a butthole. Don't do it. Plus, you'll get cancer. 8 months of bad luck if you don't repost.

P • I • S • C • E • S: Smells like ass

Does not know how to bathe. Does not know how to wash dishes. Does not know how to use deodorant. Does not know how to change their own diapers. Complete and utter animals. And that's not a good thing. They jump around like monkeys, laugh like hienas, throw their shit like chimps, eat their own shit like dogs, and masturbate in public. 85 years bad luck, so for god's sake repost then take a shower.

C • A • P • R • I • C • O • R • N: The overzealous christian

Wastes money, tells people what they can and cannot do. Speaks in loud demanding tones like they're hiding something. Blinks eyes in a ferocious, quick manner like they're hiding something. Wears big oversized robes like they're hiding something. Capricorns tend to wear a devious grin when a shiny plate is passed through a crowd of people sometimes called a congregation and an 'offering' is made. Politically corrupt. Cannot resist saying "God Bless You" whether someone sneezes or not. Likes young boys. An eternity in hell if you don't repost this.

T • A • U • R • U • S: The cool bean

Complete and utter JACKASS. Typically exists as a lie. Constantly strives to be something they're not. Does not know the lyrics to rap songs but tries to act like they do. Usually, taurus's spend all of their paycheck on trying to make their car look 'cool' and will even risk living without electricity in the process because they are POOR. Firmly believes people like you not because of your personality, but rather because of the 'ice' you wear and the chrome on your wheels. This is most likely because their personalities do suck and they are desperate. They also have small penises. 3 years bad luck.

S • A • G • I • T • T • A • R • I • U • S. The unfortunate

Uglier than a Libra.... ouch. Go kill yourself.

B.B.S.

B.B.S = Bible Bull Shit

Read the following so you may understand how full of shit the bible really is. Can you believe ppl actually 'read' this shit and consider it holy? There is no such thing as holy, but despite that fact, it is absolutely mind boggling how such a large percentage of the population can find a religion based off of a book (bible) full of cocky bullshit. Shall I tomorrow live my life according to Mother Goose? Shall I live my life according to the fantastical characters evolved from Greek mythology? Of course not!!!! We're in yet another world destroying phenomenon of a very large group of ppl believing in some well written mythology...aka, the bible. Empires fail in the end. It's the circle of life. And the U.S. is headed that way until we get a fucking free minded atheist in the presidency. Will that ever happen? Of course not. Too many hicks in this country who refuse to think freely. I speak to every one of you!! Don't let your parents' brainwashing prevent you from thinking on your own. I know for a fact every single one of you doubts the existence of the god you believe in. It is human nature. But you find comfort in turning to a group called the church that tells you, "BELIEVING ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT WE SAY IS A SIN AND FOR THAT YOU WILL GO TO HELL. SO SUCCUMB TO OUR DESIRES AND YOU WILL BE SAVED!!"

What a fucking joke! Don't negotiate with mind terrorists. We talk about these wimpy countries being such a threat to American soil even though they didn't do shit to us. They are terrorists according to americans b/c they firmly believe in their religion and will defend fags from america trying to force them to believe a different one. What we don't realize as a country is religion IS the root of all evil. If religion didn't exist, we wouldn't be going through this bullshit right now. But no...it's all a shit filled act of cockiness. INFIDELS!!!! DEATH TO AMERICANS!!! that shit you've heard??? Propaganda. They focus on the few and ignore the mass innocent. It's disgusting, but what we don't realize is that it's our fault. Think about it. Why would America provide weapons to the countries we're now fighting? We did. It's true. Research it. IT's a sick money making scheme by the dumb fuck republicans and the stingy democrats who have fallen to the same game. Come on now!!! I can't even express these full thoughts right now. It's too much to bear. So now i'll leave you with some bible quotes of which i spoke at the beginning of this blog. Just please don't let it scare you into religion b/c it is in fact mythological in nature and deserves no respect whatsoever. If you want something to respect, respect your fellow man. Love one another for what we are. Not b/c some egotisitcally faggot christian god tells you to. Peace.

If you refuse to listen to the LORD your God and to obey the commands and laws he has given you, all these curses will pursue and overtake you until you are destroyed. These horrors will serve as a sign and warning among you and your descendants forever. Because you have not served the LORD your God with joy and enthusiasm for the abundant benefits you have received, you will serve your enemies whom the LORD will send against you. You will be left hungry, thirsty, naked, and lacking in everything. They will oppress you harshly until you are destroyed. "The LORD will bring a distant nation against you from the end of the earth, and it will swoop down on you like an eagle. It is a nation whose language you do not understand, a fierce and heartless nation that shows no respect for the old and no pity for the young. Its armies will devour your livestock and crops, and you will starve to death. They will leave you no grain, new wine, olive oil, calves, or lambs, bringing about your destruction. They will lay siege to your cities until all the fortified walls in your land – the walls you trusted to protect you – are knocked down. They will attack all the towns in the land the LORD your God has given you. The siege will be so severe that you will eat the flesh of your own sons and daughters, whom the LORD your God has given you. The most tenderhearted man among you will have no compassion for his own brother, his beloved wife, and his surviving children. He will refuse to give them a share of the flesh he is devouring – the flesh of one of his own children – because he has nothing else to eat during the siege that your enemy will inflict on all your towns. The most tender and delicate woman among you – so delicate she would not so much as touch her feet to the ground – will be cruel to the husband she loves and to her own son or daughter. She will hide from them the afterbirth and the new baby she has borne, so that she herself can secretly eat them. She will have nothing else to eat during the siege and terrible distress that your enemy will inflict on all your towns. (Deuteronomy 28:45-57 NLT)

You will be engaged to a woman, but another man will ravish her. You will build a house, but someone else will live in it. You will plant a vineyard, but you will never enjoy its fruit. Your ox will be butchered before your eyes, but you won't get a single bite of the meat. Your donkey will be driven away, never to be returned. Your sheep will be given to your enemies, and no one will be there to help you. You will watch as your sons and daughters are taken away as slaves. Your heart will break as you long for them, but nothing you do will help. A foreign nation you have never heard about will eat the crops you worked so hard to grow. You will suffer under constant oppression and harsh treatment. You will go mad because of all the tragedy around you. The LORD will cover you from head to foot with incurable boils. (Deuteronomy 28:30-35 NLT)

"Should people cheat God? Yet you have cheated me! "But you ask, 'What do you mean? When did we ever cheat you?' "You have cheated me of the tithes and offerings due to me. You are under a curse, for your whole nation has been cheating me. Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do," says the LORD Almighty, "I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won't have enough room to take it in! Try it! Let me prove it to you! Your crops will be abundant, for I will guard them from insects and disease. Your grapes will not shrivel before they are ripe," says the LORD Almighty. (Malachi 3:8-11 NLT)

The LORD is a jealous God, filled with vengeance and wrath. He takes revenge on all who oppose him and furiously destroys his enemies! The LORD is slow to get angry, but his power is great, and he never lets the guilty go unpunished. He displays his power in the whirlwind and the storm. The billowing clouds are the dust beneath his feet. At his command the oceans and rivers dry up, the lush pastures of Bashan and Carmel fade, and the green forests of Lebanon wilt. In his presence the mountains quake, and the hills melt away; the earth trembles, and its people are destroyed. Who can stand before his fierce anger? Who can survive his burning fury? His rage blazes forth like fire, and the mountains crumble to dust in his presence. The LORD is good. When trouble comes, he is a strong refuge. And he knows everyone who trusts in him. But he sweeps away his enemies in an overwhelming flood. He pursues his foes into the darkness of night. (Nahum 1:2-8 NLT)

THESE ARE A FEW EXAMPLES. IF I BELIEVED IN A CHRISTIAN GOD, I WOULD CHOOSE GOING TO HELL, B/C GOD IS OBVIOUSLY A FUCKING BASTARD.

HI.

"And that is just how a forgiving being (a god much less) acts. Hateful and spoiled because you didn't immediately agree with what he or she said. Because you were human and questioned something. In my god forsaken honest opinion, we are a species lucky enough to have a mind capable of deciphering so many new modern marvels of science and a mind brilliant enough to finally question the legality of an ancient script written by men as average as you and I. THAT is something we embrace, but the majority of you just say FUCK IT and accept what you were taught or spoonfed when you were little kids. Listen to your mind finally. THe new generation has unfolded, and it's beautiful!"